It sounds to me as though your wife is very confused, Pete, and that she is having bi-sexual feelings.
My wife and I have agreed not to tell them, at least not yet.
She says she wants to work out her relationship and faith issues with the pastor - but not with you??? I couldnt believe what she was saying, but this other woman came back at the end of the season.
Has she indicated she would leave him at all? No odd winks or lingering favouritism, just an aloof air of power.